Right now there is a magic wand in my cervix. It is magically widening and straightening out said cervix. Until last week, I did not know that she was narrow and curvy, but now, here I sit in my car, trying to deep breathe the cramps away.
About 40 minutes ago, I had a Dilapan inserted. I return to the office in 4 hours to have it removed. It was not easy for the doc to get it in, and she yelled at me for not having a full enough bladder (not my favorite doc in the office). After several unsuccessful tactics (“Can you cough? I’m going to try to straighten your cervix out…”), The Partridge Family came on the radio, and I legit got excited because I haven’t heard the song in ages. “I think I love you…” I tried to sing along and before the song ended, the Dilapan was in.
Followed by… extreme discomfort.
I had been told it wouldn’t be painful and I would have a few cramps. This was a bit of an understatement (unless my threshold for pain is really much smaller than I have always thought). But the doctor who told me that was male and I’m guessing he’s never had a magic wand shoved into his much-too-narrow-and-curvy cervix.
So that’s where we are, folks. I’m sitting in the parking lot and deep breathing (and blogging) until I feel ready to drive. R is waiting at our new house for me so we can do some work there… do you think my magic wand does chores?!?