And Then My Heart Sank To the Center of the Earth

8dp3dt
Blood.

I never even last long enough to test. 11dpo is pretty normal for me to get my period so I’m right on target. Even the Progesterone can’t keep it off and help me live on my fluffy cloud of ignorance and bliss for a couple more days. WTF WTF WTF

And there goes IVF #1. All the injections, all the appointments, all of the hope and all of the fear and all of the waiting…

I can’t really put into words what I’m feeling right now so I’m just going to curl up in a ball and let myself cry a little. My body can’t do what a woman’s body is meant to do. What more is there to say about it?

13 thoughts on “And Then My Heart Sank To the Center of the Earth

  1. I am so so sorry. I know the despair, heartache and deep pain so well. What you will do is mourn as you need to then you will pick yourself up and keep fighting. Unfortunately statistically it takes more than one time more often than not. This will work for you- don’t give up. Your RE has learned a lot about your body from this. Thinking of you in your time of pain. Xoxo

    • Thank you for your heartfelt words. I did find hope in them and I know I will pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again when I am ready. I am just so thankful for this community and the support of people who have been there.

  2. Thanks, everyone, for your kind words. My eyes are raw and I needed a few good cries. I’m sure there will be another when the man gets home. Then I guess tomorrow is a new day and by later this week I wi have a better idea what the next step is.

  3. I am so sorry! I know there’s nothing that I can really say that wouldn’t just sound so cliche or insensitive. Just know my thoughts and prayers are with you! Something I always prayed for myself was for 1)to be pregnant and 2)be mentally and emotionally at peace with whatever does end up happening. Though I know you desire #1 more than anything, I will still pray for both!

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