Up, Up, & Away

There are four things going up right now:

5w4d
My beta level: (was 1684 on Friday, is now 2800)
My temperature: 101.6
My anxiety: immeasurable
My cramping & bleeding: bleeding is back to a medium flow of dark blood; cramps are rendering me useless and localized on the left hand side

My doctors are all somewhat stumped about the fever. There is no gestational sac on my ultrasound. I’m not sure how this could be anything but ectopic. There is an embryo hanging on for dear life somewhere in my body. Must have my sense of direction. My poor attempt at humor when really I’m miserable.

I’m just so done with the not knowing. I was really hoping for falling beta numbers today (and so was my doctor). Falling beta numbers = try again in 1-2 months. Ectopic = have to wait 3-4 months. Not that I feel ready to try again, but I’ve learned the woman’s body and mind are so totally resilient when it comes to TTC.

I go tomorrow for repeat bloodwork, urine sample to rule out UTI, ultrasound, and they will check out the PIO injection sites. She also swabbed me for infections today.

Thank god for my mommy. The man is MIA (work from morning until 2 AM, regularly…). But let’s be honest, moms are way better at this stuff anyway. So at least I’m lucky and grateful for that.

Alright, let’s get this show on the road.. hope tomorrow brings something more definitive.

5 thoughts on “Up, Up, & Away

  1. I’m sorry you’re still facing the unknown. I often find that’s what brings me the most stress…not knowing. Hoping tomorrow’s appointment brings you clarity and good news.

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