To Start Again

I went MIA after my ectopic and surgery this summer.

It wasn’t really a conscious decision; I guess I just needed to detox.  There was (and is) some guilt that I stopped reading and responding to others’ blogs.  Especially after all of the love and support I received in my time of need.  It doesn’t mean I stopped caring about all of your journeys… I guess it was just my way of coping with my own.

It has been just over two months since my rupture and we are about to embark on IVF round 2.  I have very mixed feelings about this.  When people ask me how I am doing, I say that I feel great, and I honestly mean it!!!  Physically, I am strong and healthy.  The whole ordeal feels like a blip on the radar.  But every now and then I am caught off guard and brought back to the memory of August and it stuns me and gets caught in my throat.  And I am about to put myself through it again.

We have one perfect embryo on ice, but I have decided to do a fresh cycle.  This way, we can (hopefully) transfer two and  have some others left to freeze.  My optimistic thinking is that if I do a fresh cycle now, it can potentially be the last full IVF I have to do, and down the line, the embryos will have been conceived by a 34 year old me…even if I am over that 35 or 38 hump by the time we use them.

My doctor wants to be more aggressive this time around since the first retrieval did not yield as many eggs as we had hoped (6).  Soooo, when I get my period (end of this week if I am on time), I will start BCP, and schedule a hysteroscopy.  I will be taking HGH (Human Growth Hormone i.e. steroids), and my doses for all stims will be higher.

My doctor is predicting an end of December or early January transfer, barring any unforeseen circumstances.  I have learned not to count ahead 9 months, or to try and figure out what our potential birth announcements might look like depending on the time of year.  At least I think I have learned that…

For now, I am going to enjoy my last drug free, doctor free week.  Those have been the perks of the last few months, but now it is time to start again.

 

8 thoughts on “To Start Again

  1. I have found the first cycle to be the hardest and the great thing is- your odds of success go up a lot this second cycle when they can adjust your protocol to suit you better. Good luck!! Xo

  2. I have found it hard to keep up with the blog community while I’m recovering. I don’t comment as much but I try to read what I can. Good luck to you on this cycle. I’m looking forward to following along

  3. Hi. I’ve not been through ivf or anything but both my mum and sister have had ectopic pregnancies & I had a missed miscarriage last November. Take some time and don’t feel bad about the blog – I’ve been terrible for the last year but I hope you get a sticky bean this time around xx

  4. It is nice to see you again! I’ve been wondering how you are and if you would be back to try again. You were one of the first blogs I started following when I started my blog and we were going through IVF #1 at nearly the same time. I figured you were taking some much needed time away but was hoping to see you back 🙂

    • Thank you!!! I’ve just been cathibg up on your blog and I am so happy to hear your baby boy is doing well! How exciting!!! Thanks for thinking of me and I am so happy to be back! xo 🙂

    • Thank… I am openly accepting prayers for my new cycle! Lol. Congrats to you!!! I am so looking firward to reading about the next leg of your journey. Woohoo!!!!!!!!!! Hope you are feeling well!

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