The Cape as Red as Blood

Tonight, R and I finally got to see “Into the Woods.” Now, I have been singing along with this score for well over a decade, and even performed in a month long community theater run of the show. I am no stranger to the story or to Sondheim’s insane and intelligent lyrics.

And yet, tonight, as I watched the baker’s wife story line unfold, it was as if I was hearing it for the first time. Her opening lines are:

“I wish…
More than anything…
More than the moon…
I wish more than life…
More than riches…
I want a child…”

Aha. There it is. The baker’s wife is a fellow infertile!!! Well, to be fair, it is male factor infertility in this case, but I digress… YOU GUYS; “Into the Woods” is totally about IVF!!!

In order to get their baby, the witch tells the baker and his wife to go into the woods for the following potion ingredients that will reverse the curse:
The cow as white as milk. (sperm)
The cape as red as blood. (uterus, eggs… lady parts)
The hair as yellow as corn. (my awful metaphor falls apart here…)
The slipper as pure as gold. ($$$, meds, doctors)

At one point, when the baker’s wife was looking particularly disheveled, I leaned to R and whispered, “I’d guess she’s at about Stims Day 8.” I just couldn’t resist.

Earlier today, I stumbled upon a little gem of news while I was purusing social media, and it goes like this: Ex-husband’s new wife is pregnant.

Well, fuck.

She captioned her photo with #showingat16weeks and I immediately had sour grapes.

I would totally go into the woods for a magic potion.

4 thoughts on “The Cape as Red as Blood

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