The Cervix Whisperer

10 Truths From Today

1. One of the doctors (who I don’t see often) said, “You have a complicated cervix.” (So I’ve been told…) Later on, after she [finally] inserted the Dilapan, the tech referred to her as the “cervix whisperer.”

2. Dilapan #3 sucked to put in…

3. … but it worked! Mock embryo transfer afterwards went perfectly! Now it just needs to go like that for the real thing.

4. Nothing beats my mother for comfort, companionship, and support.

5. Costco actually has some really nice furniture. And I have a new coat rack to prove it.

6. I know my protocol better than my clinic. (I told them I needed an antibiotic and that I had to have blood drawn today). I’m a little annoyed that they missed those details. Be proactive and stay on top of your $hit during your cycles!

7. Everything terrible you have heard about Lupron is basically true.

8. Taking a double dose of antibiotics (prescribed), will upset your stomach. Especially if you are already pumped full of other meds.

9. Sometimes the needle goes right in. And sometimes it doesn’t…

10. Wearing fun perfectly mismatched socks can provide at least a sliver of comfort on a tough day.

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Dilapan Day and 1-3 Recap

Thank the heavens, this morning’s Dilapan insertion was not nearly the nightmare it was the first time around. For those of you lucky enough not to know what a Dilapan is, it is a rigid stick that is placed in the cervix for the purpose of dilating it. Doesn’t that sound magical? 😉 A Slender, curvy cervix makes for a difficult transfer. This is supposed to make it easier, though if you talk to the doctor who did my first transfer, the jury is still out on whether or not it was effective. Anyway, just had the procedure done and this time it was a piece of cake. I’m still crampy but the actual process of inserting it was no big deal, and I am pleasantly surprised!

Shout out to my cervix for being cooperative. Love ya, babe! 😉

Here is my stim days 1-3 recap:
– 75 Menopur (1 vial)
– 225 Follistim
– 5 Lupron

Felt some tiny twinges yesterday afternoon on the right side, and sure enough my current front runner, measuring in at 11 mm, is on the right. I have 5 smaller ones on the right, and 7 on the left. Doc says this is right in line with what is expected. Here’s hoping for no surprises. I start Omnipotren (human growth hormone) tonight.

I took a sick day from work but must attempt to work from home for the next few hours. Can’t wait to have the magical cervix wand removed later this afternoon!

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A Magic Wand

Right now there is a magic wand in my cervix. It is magically widening and straightening out said cervix. Until last week, I did not know that she was narrow and curvy, but now, here I sit in my car, trying to deep breathe the cramps away.

About 40 minutes ago, I had a Dilapan inserted. I return to the office in 4 hours to have it removed. It was not easy for the doc to get it in, and she yelled at me for not having a full enough bladder (not my favorite doc in the office). After several unsuccessful tactics (“Can you cough? I’m going to try to straighten your cervix out…”), The Partridge Family came on the radio, and I legit got excited because I haven’t heard the song in ages. “I think I love you…” I tried to sing along and before the song ended, the Dilapan was in.

Followed by… extreme discomfort.

I had been told it wouldn’t be painful and I would have a few cramps. This was a bit of an understatement (unless my threshold for pain is really much smaller than I have always thought). But the doctor who told me that was male and I’m guessing he’s never had a magic wand shoved into his much-too-narrow-and-curvy cervix.

So that’s where we are, folks. I’m sitting in the parking lot and deep breathing (and blogging) until I feel ready to drive. R is waiting at our new house for me so we can do some work there… do you think my magic wand does chores?!?