TOP TEN Early Pregnancy Non-Symptoms

Please don’t be mislead by the title of this post.

I don’t yet know for sure if I am pregnant or not this month, but my strong instinct is: not 

This has not, however, hampered my desire to symptom spot in the least.  I really needed a distraction leading up to a much needed Spring Break (which began today at 12:30, thank god). And yes, I celebrated with a glass of red wine.  After all, I really don’t think I am pregnant… By my novice calculations, I am on Cycle Day 21, and roughly 5 days past ovulation; I am expecting my next period one week from today, but my cycle ranges from 26 – 31 days (usually falling within 27-29 days), so who knows. Other than the stupid cheap strip I had lying in the drawer today, I am NOT going to test again until I am officially late next Friday.  Or maybe next Thursday night at midnight.  😉

But back to the “symptoms.”  Here is a quick list of the top ten early pregnancy symptoms that I may or may not have thought I experienced this week, and the real logical cause behind each one.

10) dull headache — stress of keeping 13 year olds reined in long enough to teach them anything the week before a vacation, rehearsing a full cast number for the musical with 80-something students, I can’t remember the last week I went “dull headache” free come to think of it

9) tired / dizzy – I wake up every morning at 5:15.  After dealing with hormonal tweens all day, I have rehearsal with the most dramatic ones until 5:30, then, three times a week, I’m off to teach high impact aerobics.  One day this week, I taught two in a row…  That’s enough to make anyone dizzy, and definitely enough to make anyone tired!

8) tired eyes – I was diagnosed with severe dry eye about a year and a half ago.  I can’t remember the last time I used the drops I am supposed to use twice a day.  So, yeah… my eyes are pretty much always dry and tired.

7) slight cramping – I may have actually been ovulating wicked late (which would put me in the “definitely not pregnant” zone).  That, or I should stay away from the school lunch.  Again, much like the headache, I get cramping throughout my cycle.  It is very dull and nothing alarming and has been happening since high school.

6) smelling things I don’t usually notice – this one I can’t explain, but it was only for a day or two, and it wasn’t anything that really jumped out at me.  This was pure and simple psychosomatic symptom spotting. And like I said, it stopped when I forgot to think about it. 🙂

5) tightness in chest / some gas – I never drink orange juice, but decided to start again this week for some extra vitamin C since R was sick with a cold last week. Orange juice and I have never gotten along.

4) one glass of wine made me tipsy – I have been cutting WAY back on alcohol consumption for the past few weeks (we are pretty big drinkers); that coupled with being tired and the drink being red wine…

3) lower back pain – I have been going to the chiropractor for this pain since before we were trying to conceive, but clearly this week, it is a sign of pregnancy. Oh, let’s not forget all of those high impact aerobic classes I taught this week with an already tender back… that SURELY couldn’t be the cause…

2) I am moody and easily irritated – this could describe me on any given day, at any time of the month; this will NEVER be a good symptom for me to use as a benchmark.  I am often dramatic and moody.

1) bloating – it could be the St. Joseph’s pastries we’ve been eating since last Sunday, the appetizer sampler platter today at lunch (followed by french onion soup), salty Chinese food, … you get the idea.  Though I am conscious about what I eat and try to stay relatively healthy, I am far from perfect, and the PMS cravings officially set in last night around 9 pm.

Well, there you have it folks, my top ten non-symptom-symptoms.  I quite expect that a week from now, I will be announcing official plans for entering round two of trying, and though in my heart I know this, I am sure I will still be somewhat let down when my period shows up.  There is the silver lining of actually getting to have sex with my otherwise drive-less husband, so it’s not all bad.  But I’d still rather make a little ‘a.’ 😉