And Then the Doctor Said,

…”I want to be the first person to congratulate you on being pregnant.”

WHAT?!?

I have spent the last three and a half days pulling myself together about blood and negative tests. This is the last thing I expected my doctor’s message to say after my beta this morning.

The rest of his message went on to say that my beta is 38 and they hope to see a first beta of 50 or more. He assures me that many women continue to have viable pregnancies with numbers less than mine, but of course… I am counting the hours until my next beta on Friday and praying that the numbers do what they should.

Obviously, once I got that news, there were some tests involved:

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I know it’s no use, but I’m trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.
5dp3dt (8dpo) – a tiny bit of pink and brown CM
6dp3dt (9dpo) – nothing
7dp3dt (10dpo) – nothing
8dp3dt (11dpo) – fresh blood (not full flow, spotting during a trip to the bathroom), BFN
9dp3dt (12dpo) – crampy, feel like AF coming
10dp3dt (13dpo) – feel like AF is coming, BFN
11dp3dt (14dpo) – beta positive 38, BFP

I know most of the signs point to a chemical pregnancy, but we are trying to enjoy the idea of being pregnant, nonetheless!!! I have never seen two pink lines before, so I keep looking back at my pictures to make sure they are still there. I can’t believe I am writing this right now.

Obviously, I am praying, making deals with a higher power, back to saying my affirmations, etc. BUT, if it ends up being a CP, which I know will suck even worse than the original BFN… at least I know that I can get pregnant.

So, for now, PUPO!!! But very very wary and nervous. Beta 2 on Friday.

Say a little prayer…