Out damn spot.

The day of my blood BFP (and day after), I had some mild cramps and brown spotting. I only needed one panty liner and it was enough to worry me but then it went away.

I haven’t had any more cramping or bleeding until two nights ago at 6w6d. I actually said to my husband, “something is wrong.” We ended up doing my PIO shot and then I got right into bed and crashed (which seems to be the routine). Last night I had more spotting and this morning more still (all brown), with definite mild AF cramps in the background. Which are getting stronger as I write this.

I’m talking myself into believing that my uterus is growing and my cervix is a little angry for this, that, or the other reason… but I CAN’T SHAKE THE NEGATIVITY.

I virtually have no symptoms other than boob stuff and being tired, which can both be attributed to the progesterone. My skin looks better than usual, my pee schedule is normal, no cravings or aversions or sensitivities. I know this can be normal, and trust me, I do NOT want to puke, but at the risk of sounding like so many other women, it would be reassuring to feel pregnant. 

Last night my PIO shot ended with spurting blood. The kind that soaked the top of my pants in the back. I’m guessing it is because the area is so bruised, but it was not pleasant. Not for me, or for Rob, who is queasy and squirmish about giving me my shots on a good night…

I guess I am just in a low and anxious place right now. I don’t want to be. I want to feel grateful. I want to be ecstatic and glowing and pregnant.

March Rewind

Cycle 3  is going to be a repeat of March, with the early spotting that lasts days and days and finally culminates in the most painful, terrible period ever. Oh, what fun!

I would much rather be pregnant.

Rereading posts and keeping track like this HAS brought a potential pattern to light.  If this every other month spotting / pain pattern continues, that may help a doctor diagnose some potential problems.  I am hoping that between my calendars and this blog, I will be easily diagnosed, if it comes to that…

So today, when the second day of spotting continued, I caved and bought an Ov-Watch.  Check out the website here:

http://www.ovwatch.com/

I hope this bizarre little ovulation predicting watch is the extra layer I need to get the timing right.  I hope the problem is as simple as timing...

I hope this bizarre little ovulation predicting watch is the extra layer I need to get the timing right. I hope the problem is as simple as timing…

Basically, this watch measures your secreted chloride ions, which vary at different points in a woman’s cycle.  It is similar to ovulation prediction kits, but without having to pee on a million sticks.  And the watch will tell you your 4 most fertile days — allegedly the 4 days prior to ovulation.  This is similar to some of the newer kits, but I am intrigued by not having to pee a lot to find out if I may or may not ovulate in the next 12-48 hours (we’ve really got this down to a science, haven’t we…).

I also think I am going to bite the bullet and start temping.  I bought a new basal body temp. thermometer (the Walgreens one seemed off to me and I read some not-so-great reviews), so maybe this will help me to understand if and when I am ovulating.

And here I thought having sex and getting pregnant could be fun.  I’m bummed that the period is imminent this month, but I also understand that it is only our third month trying and that is not yet cause for concern.  I remain optimistic that it will happen when it is meant to happen.  I just hope that’s sooner rather than later!!!

 

 

Wherefore Art Thou?

SOOOOO frustrating to wait, and wait…and wait for your period.

I KNOW she is coming… I have had dull to moderate cramps on and off since Tuesday night (it is now Friday – period due date!), accompanied by light spotting of watery fresh blood.  At around 5 this AM, I woke up with worse cramps and was sure *she* was here.  Ran to the bathroom – only more spotting.

According to some of the reading I’ve done, if I didn’t ovulate during this past cycle, then I may be spotting due to lack of progesterone.  This has happened to me once before during this calendar year, with the days and days of spotting, but I don’t remember the cramps. Hubs still wants me to test if my period is a no show today.  It’s a cute thought that he is still positive.  It’s so obviously our first month trying.  (Of course, he doesn’t know I have already gone through six internet cheapies that came free with my OPK strips).  I know today is the first day that is actually viable for me to test, but woman’s intuition… not preggo.

Figures there just had to be some abnormalities during TTC month #1, right?  Most months, I am pretty regular with maybe one day of light spotting if anything.  I just want to get my stupid period already so we can move onto the next cycle.  URGH!

Early Bird Special

Cycle Day 25, and lo and behold here she is. The wicked one.

I’d like to live in a fairy tale world of implantation bleeding, and to be fair, I did allow myself to do this for about an hour… but the plain honest truth is, she’s just here a bit early this month. It’s ok.  I’m ok.  It was only the first try, and I was prepared for this.

As a little “test,” I said to hubby, after emerging from the bathroom and announcing that this month was officially a bust, “Maybe we should put off trying until drama season is over.” (We direct the school musical together).  He looked up at me and shook his head “no way.” So that was good.  And that means I get to have more sex in a couple of weeks.  So yay!

I can tell this month is going to be a bit of a doozy with some heavy spotting for a few days before the main event, but that usually means a strong ovulation for me… so YEAH!  I am armed with prenatal vitamins and Evening Primrose Oil, and plenty of OPKs.

And now to bed, because I am WIPED and I am teaching not one, but two Jazzercise classes tomorrow.  xoxo